Welcome To Pigfarts
by ThyGreenThing-Phlob-Welly
Summary: With help from his parents, Dobby and Narcissa, Draco finally gets the rocket ship he needs to travel to Pigfarts. Because IT'S ON MARS! But someone else has been transferred too…  One-shot.


A colourful building stood on the surface of Mars, the students and teachers inside were eagerly awaiting the arrival of their new students. Professor Rumbleroar padded slowly across the rocky ground as he saw a rocket ship approaching. He started to grin when he saw the small blond boy inside who was putting on his space helmet.

Draco Malfoy looked up and let out a squeal as he saw his new headmaster who looked a lot more exciting than Dumbledore used to. "Pigfarts, Pigfarts, here I come! Pigfarts, Pigfarts, yum yum yum!" he sang, dancing around the small ship in celebration. No Potter. No Weasley. No... Granger. But, worst of all, no Luna. The two of them had grown close during their time in the Forbiddon Forest but unfortunately she wanted to stay on Earth with her father.

Letting out a barely audible sigh, he sat down in one of the chairs as he got closer to the red planet. Draco gripped onto the seat and tightly shut his eyes; bracing himself for impact.

Malfoy's ship crashed down onto Mars but he heard something (or possibly someone) tumbling around on the floor.

"Wh-who's there?" he called out, catiously standing up and scanning the room. His eyes met someone else's and he jumped back in surprise. "POTTER?"

Harry brushed himself off and got up from the floor. "Wow, Malfoy, you look like you could use a Red Vine!" the Boy-Who- Lived exclaimed with concern, pulling out the packet of his favourite candy treat.

"Well, actually . . ."

"Like _I_ would give _you _a Red Vine," Potter scoffed, taking the liquorice and stuffing it into his mouth.

"Hey, that's not fair seeing as you're on _my _rocket ship," the blond argued determinedly.

"Because _your _father invited me to come with you." Harry stated, folding his arms over his chest, "Yeah, Malfoy, I've been transferred to Pigfarts too!"

"My children!" a deep voice called, interupting them.

"Rumbleroar!"

"…Rumble…Roar?"

"Yes, Draco, Harry. I, Professor Rumbleroar, am your new headmaster!" the lion answered. He wore nothing but a blue hat imprinted with dozens of white stars.

He told the two thirteen year old to climb onto his back. Draco did so without the slightest bit of hesitation and held onto the mammals furry neck. Though Harry took a bit of convincing.

"Come on, Harry, I don't bite!"

"Well, okay then." he said gingerly.

He sat down, shuffling back from Draco who was a little to close for comfort. "If only Daddy could see me now!"

Harry rolled his green eyes then held in a scream as Rumbleroar started to run towards Pigfarts Castle. They bounced up and down on his back, it wasn't really too comfortable and because of the headmaster's speed they reached the only building on Mars within a minute.

"Professor McGonagills, could you please open the door!"

Harry let out a laugh at the ridiculous name but was silenced when a fish with small blue wings on it's back glared at him after opening up a metal door.

"Good evening Professor and students. Follow me, if you please,"

The boys dismounted the lions back, Draco kicked Harry's leg.

"I hope you're not going to carry on insulting the teachers, it's not going to give Hogwarts a good reputation," he scolded his peer.

"Alright, just don't keep kicking me . . . that hurt, Malfoy."

"Sorry. Friends?" he offered, extending his hand to Harry for a second time.

"No. No we are not friends, Malfoy!"

"But-"

"SHUT UP!"

As they started to follow he professors, Draco hung back a little after being turned down again by Harry Potter. He'd been a crucial part in the downfall of Voldemort. And maybe he'd had an ulterior motive but he had helped him out. He kicked his space boots on the floor as he shuffled along, the pout on his pale face clearly showing he was feeling sorry for himself. They could think whatever they wanted to think about him though because he was Little D; the hero.

They continued to follow the flying fish and talking lion to the front of a small hall. Several lion cubs sat on the floor, gazing dreamily at them. "They're Rumbleroar's children, and the only other students here," Draco whispered into Harry's ear.

"I don't really care, Malfoy." he replied, clenching his fists.

"Cubs, these are our new students, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy!" the headmaster said loudly.

His children cheered and clapped their paws, congratulating the boys on actually making it to the greatest intergalactic school of witchcraft and wizardry.

"WELCOME TO PIGFARTS!"

The ex-Hogwarts students sat down with the rest of the very small school. Next to him, Harry saw one of the cubs (who was wearing circular glasses almost identical to his own) growl at another professor who entered the hall. This animal was a snake with greasy black hair and small beady eyes. He felt his jaw tightening.

"Now, it's time for introductions! Well, I'm Rumbleroar like I said earlier!"

He pointed to the fish who simply said, "Professor McGonagills."

"And this is Professor Slitherus Snake!"

The snake looked over at his new pupils with clear distaste. Harry, gulped and pulled his arm away from Draco who had been nervously holding onto it.

"Finally the cubs: Growlless, Roary, Roarelda, Grrty, Growerful, Growlly and Mouldywart."

The last cub looked different; he had black fur, bright red eyeself-like ears and a huge wart on his forehead.

Draco threw his arms around Harry and started to sob, "Voldemort's back!"

"No, Draco, you little sh-"

"Not in front of my children, Dumbledore!" Rumbleroar warned the ageing wizard who had just strutted through the doors and into the hall.

"DUMBLEDORE!" everyone exclaimed.

"Hey, how's life?"

"You're dead!"

He sauntered over to Harry and put his arm around his shoulder, "Harry, do I look dead to you?"

"No, sir,"

"Harry, do I sound dead to you,"

"No, sir,"

"Well, I'm not dead then am I?"

Draco narrowed his eyes, "I…I don't get it."

Everyone sighed and shook their heads at him before looking back at the headmaster.

"Right, back to your dorms! You've got you're first day of lessons tomorrow!"

They knew this year was going to be very different from any year they would ever spend at Hogwarts . . . .

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Hi! It's ThyGreenThing here! Lately I've been watching A Very Potter MusicalSequel and I love Lauren Lopez's version of Draco and, yeah, this one-shot was born! I hope you liked it :) Please, please, please review and tell me what you think . . . flames will just be laughed at.**

**I might add some more Pigfarts one-shots when I find the time...I'm not sure yet.**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**

**~ThyGreenThing~**


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